Internal Tug of War

Picture from: http://www.dypadvisors.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/tug-o-war.jpg 

Happy Wednesday!

Well it is 2:46 a.m. and I have ben up about for about 30-40 minutes.  I couldn't sleep, the mind was a bit busy--all those discombobulated thoughts! I have been negative the last few days, very hard on myself, feeling guilty about being off work! Yesterday, I went to  the therapist and cried--I hadn't planned on crying--it just came out! Then the psychiatrist and more tears! She upped a med, and told me not to be too hard on myself.  Advised me that I needed to get some sort of routine to add structure to my life to. Structure--some structure! Yes! I do need that! So I have a week to develop a morning routine or something to get me going!  After I got out of the shrink I went to Borders and ate a big cookie and White Chocolate Mocha and read a book.  I went to CVS and bought candy for Beth, mouthwash, more toothpaste (because it was on-sale again and I think I am starting a collection), and the cutest mesh tote for CVS--you know the kind you use instead of plastic! Not sure why it made me smile but it did! Has a nice size handle like you can carry like a purse! Going to use it the next time I go shopping at Soulard!

Therapist wants me to write down little, big or anything that makes me smile, happy or brings me joy during the day! Can you believe one of those moments yesterday was an new green tote from CVS for $1.00! Yes--it was!

Hmm---so back to my internal tug of war going on! Need to figure out what a routine for me would look like--what would work.  Maybe something like this:

Morning Routine:

1. Get up at 7:00--Ok, I got up at 2:30, not 7:00

2. Take medicine and Multi-Vitamin-Done

3. Drink a cup of herbal tea-Done

4  Read Daily Meditation-Done

5. Write in journal- a. what made me happy, b, affirmations c. gratitudes. d. prayers

6. Stretch 5-10 minutes

7. Exercise- 10 minutes on treadmill (build up to 30 minutes)

8. Shower/Brush Teeth/Lotion/Makeup/Get Dressed

9. Eat breakfast-Done

During Day:

--Go out of the house for at least 1 hour each day (if bad weather--go stand outside for 10 minutes walk around the block if possible or just stand on the porch--do 3 times in an hour)

--Call 1 person everyday-Mom, Lisa, Mary Lou, etc.....

--Do at least 1 household task: dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc-Done

--Find something that I want to do for the day--just "because" it sounds like fun and do it!

--Drink 8 glasses of water a day

Getting Ready for Bed:

--Drink cup of herbal tea

--Journal-write 3 positive things about the day

--Take Medicine

-- Brush Teeth

-- Listen to 10 minute meditation CD