Hmm..... it is Saturday night and I am living the high life! Not!!! I am home sitting on the couch! Today was an interesting day--started off with a YUMMY Apple Fritter from the Donut Store off of Morganford (courtesy of Beth), not helping me get on a food plan but it sure tasted great! Then Beth and I went to the MPA (Microfinancing Partners of Africa) volunteer meeting--which was another positive! Sometimes when I go to these meetings I don't feel like I fit in, several of the volunteers are nuns and most of them are older than Beth and I so at the beginning of the meeting I was like--what am I doing here? We started out with stretching and reflection! Inwardly I sighed at this point--stretching???? However--I really felt better after the stretching--sun salutations and the palm up and down stretching is better than I thought it would be! [Note to self---KEEP an open mind!!!!] and the reflection part..... well the topic was have you ever been at a point in your life where you feel like you've had enough and say to yourself (or to God)--I can't take any more, I don't know how I can handle anything else! Well--for those of you who know me, I didn't have to think very hard to find my "point" in my life when I couldn't any more--that point is now! I thought about the week I have had--up and down, depressed, not very motivated--unless you count the trip to the doctor, therapist and the root-canal! At that point I was feeling fairly low. But an amazing thing happened as I listened to other peoples "points" in their life--dealing with suicide, divorce, unemployment, cancer--each of them said that it was the presence of God that got them through! That when they turned their problems over to God they were able to get through it. If you are not spiritual you might think this hokey, sappy, or just @#$#$ but to me as I explore my spirituality--this was like a direct dial from God saying, "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out of the negative thoughts in your head and starting living your life! You have so much in your life to be grateful for why are you constantly beating yourself up because you have depression instead of accepting it and doing what you can to live the best life possible!" I felt better after that...... not perfect--perfect truly is a word I need to strike from my vocabulary, but positive, open, accepting instead of closed off. When I am depressed it is like I close the doors, the window and turn off the porch light and sit on the couch with a blanket, maybe a book or the tv and whatever food I can get my hands on, as if I am battening down the hatches until the depression wave passes me by. But after the reflections I felt like a window opened, that I could feel fresh air, I wasn't stuck in my head anymore but could look at others and think about their pain, their ability to cope, and be grateful for what I had, and hopeful that I can change things in my life. Wait, not can change, or will change--but I am changing things in my life (if you ever have cognitive therapy the words you use are very important--nix the shoulds, must, need to from your language).
So today I felt good!
The rest of the day was not productive but it was fun! Beth and I were going to Fast Eddie's in Alton but when we got there at 1:30 it was jammed packed. Not 1, 2, or 3 parking lots were full.....but 4 (or was it 5)...... well we knew that there wasn't that many places to sit and it wasn't like it was warm enough to eat on the patio! LOL So we went to Wendy's, I have to say the Chili there is mighty tasty! After that well--we went to Dave an Busters my latest addiction that I need to stop! I have also become one with my DSi--I am captivated by the bejeweled game. I have been stuck on this one board for a couple of days--but I am not exchanging a life to get to another board! I will clear that board! LOL
This evening as I am writing--I wanted a song about Saturday, well in my searching I found a song by the Carpenters about Saturday...... I wasn't a fan so much of that song! But, I youtube'd the Carpenters and I listened to all those songs that I heard as a kid--You've only just begun, Rainy days and Mondays, Close to You...... I really like the Carpenters it was a good journey down memory lane! The sad part was seeing how skinny Karen was--so famous and tormented by anorexia! One can only imagine what would have happened if she lived.....I think of Janis Joplin, John Lennon, crap forget the singers I think about what a world this would have been like if Martin Luther King or JFK had lived! Hmmm.... not perfect but BETTER! That is for certain! Well it is 10:11-- I just might turn into a pumpkin if I don't wind this up..... I haven't blogged/journaled in a week so I went on a bit of a ramble this evening but I feel good about releasing it! Always a good cleanse.
Tomorrow's goals: Church, Finish taxes and E-file, dye my hair (just say no to the gray roots!), go to the 3:30 OA meeting, no donuts, eat something healthy, and work on the card project with Beth! Oh yeah--and watch the Superbowl! Goooooo ??????? Beth wants the Colts to win but I am on the fence, part of me wants the Saints to win because of all that they have been through with Katrina!
Well night all----tune in tomorrow night to see how my goals went! Change is in the air------hmm the song--Always look on the bright side of life popped into my head. I like the song but I don't care for the Monty Python video--I found this Nike one that isn't too bad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5yRqCLtbJs
Chris
So today I felt good!
The rest of the day was not productive but it was fun! Beth and I were going to Fast Eddie's in Alton but when we got there at 1:30 it was jammed packed. Not 1, 2, or 3 parking lots were full.....but 4 (or was it 5)...... well we knew that there wasn't that many places to sit and it wasn't like it was warm enough to eat on the patio! LOL So we went to Wendy's, I have to say the Chili there is mighty tasty! After that well--we went to Dave an Busters my latest addiction that I need to stop! I have also become one with my DSi--I am captivated by the bejeweled game. I have been stuck on this one board for a couple of days--but I am not exchanging a life to get to another board! I will clear that board! LOL
This evening as I am writing--I wanted a song about Saturday, well in my searching I found a song by the Carpenters about Saturday...... I wasn't a fan so much of that song! But, I youtube'd the Carpenters and I listened to all those songs that I heard as a kid--You've only just begun, Rainy days and Mondays, Close to You...... I really like the Carpenters it was a good journey down memory lane! The sad part was seeing how skinny Karen was--so famous and tormented by anorexia! One can only imagine what would have happened if she lived.....I think of Janis Joplin, John Lennon, crap forget the singers I think about what a world this would have been like if Martin Luther King or JFK had lived! Hmmm.... not perfect but BETTER! That is for certain! Well it is 10:11-- I just might turn into a pumpkin if I don't wind this up..... I haven't blogged/journaled in a week so I went on a bit of a ramble this evening but I feel good about releasing it! Always a good cleanse.
Tomorrow's goals: Church, Finish taxes and E-file, dye my hair (just say no to the gray roots!), go to the 3:30 OA meeting, no donuts, eat something healthy, and work on the card project with Beth! Oh yeah--and watch the Superbowl! Goooooo ??????? Beth wants the Colts to win but I am on the fence, part of me wants the Saints to win because of all that they have been through with Katrina!
Well night all----tune in tomorrow night to see how my goals went! Change is in the air------hmm the song--Always look on the bright side of life popped into my head. I like the song but I don't care for the Monty Python video--I found this Nike one that isn't too bad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5yRqCLtbJs
Chris
No comments:
Post a Comment